A second marriage is another chance at long-term love. However, if it’s the second marriage for both of you, you will now have to deal with one another’s exes. This doesn’t have to mean that you end up in scratching or screaming fights or that you have to spar on a regular basis, but it does mean that you should be prepared for what to expect when it comes to such interactions.
It’s important to remember that not every ex is going to hate you, especially if it’s been quite some time since they were married to your loved one. Don’t go into the interactions ready to tip some hair out or throw out your best insults. The “kill them with kindness” mantra should be your best friend when dealing with your loved one’s ex. Don’t give them a reason to hate you, and you may just end up with a nice friend, or at least an acquaintance.
Be nice to your spouse’s ex, but try to keep your interactions short. You don’t want to live in the past. Even if you and your spouse’s ex get along, it’s important not to bring up their relationship if you can help it. You want to focus on the present and the future; you don’t want to go digging around in the past just because you’re curious.
If the ex is jealous or cold to you, don’t take it personally. It doesn’t immediately mean that he or she wants your spouse back. It could just mean they feel jealous that you could make it work when they couldn’t. Don’t be hurt if the ex doesn’t want to talk or interact with you.
Give your spouse the chance to talk to their ex from time to time. They may still know the same people, he may be close with your spouse’s family and they may have some financial things to work out or objects to return to one another. Nobody likes a jealous spouse. If your spouse doesn’t want to talk about the ex or their exchanges, respect this. He just may not want to mar the present with talk of the past. Remember that this is your spouse, and that at the end of the day, he sleeps in your bed.
About The Author:Lisa Bower