One of the most painful experiences for a woman is for a man to betray her trust. If you’re experiencing the pain over your man lying, cheating or breaking up with you, I want to let you know that I know how difficult this feels for you right now.
Just like you, I’ve experienced men lie and betray me at the deepest level. It felt like my heart is being ripped to shreds. I’ve cried for days on end. Nothing could prepare me for this kind of pain. It’s like a light went out inside of me. What do you do with all the anger, pain, and confusion? Is there a way to find some answers to why your man lied to you or why he cheated on you?
Although there is no excuse for lying or cheating, understand why men lie could be your first step to healing from your pain. I know you’re wondering why men have to lie, why can’t they just come out and tell you the truth.
The truth is, the majority of men would like to tell their partner the truth, but they are scared of a woman’s emotions. It sounds like a cop out. It sounds like being weak. But men are generally less able to face emotions than women are. This is why some men have deep secrets thoughts they’d like to open and share, but have a very difficult time doing so.
Because they have a hard time facing their emotions, they hide behind it instead. This is obviously no way to deepen the communication between you. I know you wished your man communicated what he needed from you before he lied to you. But maybe there is a chance to get him to open up now and tell you what is really on his mind.
Before you focus on trying to get him to open up, make sure you take care of yourself. You’re at a really vulnerable place right now and it’s best to get the right information on how to make him open up and share his inner thoughts with you so that it doesn’t cause you further harm.
There are deep secrets your man wish he could tell you, secrets he wished you knew. What goes on inside his mind and how he really feels about you might shock you and you could learn how to guide him into that place where he shares his deeper feelings for you.
I nurtured the TRUTH out of a guy once. He was right, absolutely right in not telling me that he was prone to fits of blind rage at women and that was why he was always so quiet with me but open and fun loving with is brothers or male friends. Then, there is the gay confession, or the drug use confession. Nurture that truth out of them for your own safety and well being and so you don’t end up a casualty at the end of the relationship when you find out the truth in some way that is harmful to you.
one day my man was drinking and he told me some things I did not want to hear. I wanted to throw up, the things he said made me sick. I didn’t want to listen but I had to. I had to know. ex. Raised a child until 18 went and got a d.n.a found out the kid was nit his and keft the child alone. When he was younger drive girl far away and say no gas no ass. (my opion, that was rape).
Now were in our 50′s and 60′s so I chocked it up and forgave him. Why he was honest I don’t know but he could have kept that
i have experienced the man lied to me, cheat on me…i am expected he not cheat with me..for almost a year we have a relationship, I am fully trust to that man i love..but this few months ago there’s so many things are change..and one time the girl of my ex bf said we they getting married and have a child.. i want to confirm to my ex bf cousin if its true..his cousin confirm and i was cry..than my i love is cheating on me not only cheating, he also lied to me..the girl was 4 months pregnant, we’ve talk and he telling me the truth, i ask him..why?? why he did not tell me from the start..he was crying in front of me, and saying he is a jerk!! i don’t to how to feel, i feel nothing i was shock but i feel the guy was in a trouble..the family of the girl insist to marry the girl..but the guy don’t want to have a family or settled down…i know him!! for all the lied, cheat and hurting me..i feel pity for him for what happen to him…i feel the guilty in his eyes..but i don’t have a right to what makes he feel good…i ask him just face the problems, the trouble that he can do!!! honestly until now we have communication and ask him “how is he??” i don’t know what his thinking??? and how he’s feel..he said the girl and i is always had a misunderstanding and always fighting they are not still married because the guy don’t want…
If the man cheated and lied to you it means he doesn’t love you nor respect you. Give it up everything his not yours his not the right person for you. Yes it is hard but time can heal. Stop communicating with that man so that you can move on your life.
got a headache with your english but its ok.. i feel for you that really hurts.. i just wish you happiness
Crap once a liar – is always a liar. An unfaithful man owes no loyalty to anyone except himself.
i think there’s always a second chance..,nd we can give it to all the liar men out there..
they said that, all men are entitled to one big mistake…so give another chance.
i don’t think so that deserve for a second chance
come on…. we all have little lies….
i had experience that once.and its very terrible the feeling is unexplainable.the hurt is deeper that it come to the point of ending one’s life.Being betrayed is very painful.
yeah right..i also have an experienced like that.its really full of pain., and now i know y some of the people got insane..,
i did experience the same, indeed so painful that i attempted to end my life. he did it not only once but thrice. now, i became numb and gave my ultimatum. i said if he do it again he will hear nothing from me, i’ll just leave him silently. .. and it works.
I know the feeling…it’s never easy.. what I did to cope up with such liar and cheater is diverting my attention on other things. I did not talk to him for 1 week and did not go on facebook since then…I find quiet time..learning to be still..and most important and helpful, I prayed….I only think happy thoughts…and hoping for the best life ahead…What happened to me is just part of my life…I’m still whole as a person. Of course, with the help of my parents, sisters and friends. They never gets tired of listening to me and understanding…There is more to life than staying in this painful moments – wishing that he too can feel the same…All things happens for a reason…It helps us figure out what we want to be…
if men lie, women do it also
If both are lying with each other, there is no way they shld continue with lovers relationship but it doesn’t mean they can’t be good friends…
When both lied with each other, it only means that, both are beginning to doubt in each others love affairs despite the love they had for one another….
What people need in a relationship is an acceptance wether good or bad… let go and let live… love from heart,mind and soul will always prevail whatever comes that struck their love in between….
Loving unconditional.. he/she may be yours in the end or not is the kind of love that is real it … expect the unexpected for it will knock at your door at times it is less expected….
sol
yeah, you are very right lovely, i absolutely like your link…
Men say they lie for women not to get hurt. But they should also know that the feeling of being betrayed hurts more than knowing the truth outright especially if women trust them so much… Omitting the truth also hurts as well…
true…..
I found out that my bf usually lies and in some point easier for him to utter his lies during a conversation on the phone with his buddies… I’ve been wondering if he usually tells me the truth every moment we spoke on the phone… I confronted him and he said sometimes its easier to utter white lies than to have a misunderstanding…
This time I’m suffering the pain what my bf do.We almost 3years,He was my first bf. I’m staying with his family, I thought he was honest to me.We had plan to get married after his training. But last June 30,2012 I discover that he was cheating and liar. I’ve find out on his face book account that the girl sending a message, With God’s wisdom I decided to open the conversation message and I’ve find out.I felt shock,that time the girl was online.she sent me a message knowing that I’m her bf.We had conversation and she know about me.According her my bf told him that we are only friends and family friends.they were almost 3 months in relation. I was crying, I did not texting my bf, he called me in phone ask forgiveness. Until now I did not know what I’m doing to him.He broke my trust.
Today I left in there house. Still fighting my emotion. I know God not allow me to be hurt. I always prayed and its time to ACCEPT,LEARN,TO LOVE MY SELF AND ENJOY SERVING GOD.I learn to let him Go and to move on.
Even though you still love him, you have to leave their house immediately. It hurts a lot to be cheated. I sometimes open my boyfriend’s facebook to see his messages and I hate it when some girls are having conversations with him. He must realize how much of a dork he is.
you’re not meant for each other,just continue you life serving to God,I know there is a gift from God to us,,,everything has a reason and purpose,If he really love’s you he never attempt to cheated on you.
accept the truth and move on… men can tell a thousand of lies…
i agree with that. because even my husband did lied to me and forgive him, but at the end and even now…he still kept on lying.
i am 4 months pregnant and he didn’t attempt to call or text me.i just realized that i have to face the reality that he can’t be a responsible husband nor a father. it hurt that i am with these kind of situation but i have to be strong for my incoming baby.
Yeah ryt! so easy to say but hard to do! But no matter hard, you have to move forward, never look back and let him realized that its his lost that he let a jewel like you to past by…time will heal the woundjust keep your faith intact with the Lord and regain your self respect..your still young, there are lots of fishes, better than the one you had before that you can find, someone who will take care & love you…patience is a virtue!
Cheer up gurl! dnt bother your self thinking of him bec if he really love you, why he didn’t think on how you will feel if you will find the truth..no secrets left unrevealed!…..
yes, it is very uneasy to be cheated or lied about. but we have to consider if they did it protect us (women) or just to cover thier asses.
I think lying is a man’s nature. They are so weak that they can’t tell the truth. I caught my fiance lying up front. I read his intimate text messages to his secretary saying, “you are so beautiful!” or “you are really so beautiful” yet, he lied by saying those are just for him saying “thank you to his wonderful secretary”‘ The woman text him or call him at any time of the day (as early as 6am or as late as pass 10pm) for things not related to work, but soemtimes, just some jokes they can think about, yet, my fiance denies that there is an ongoing relationship between him and this girl.
sometimes men are so stupid to believed that they can fool their lover with their lies,,, they look like a dumb clown when they make excuses,,,it lessen ur respect and love,,,and the scary thing is that u wake up one day that u dnt need a dumb clown anymore in ur life..and u found a better man while they are on the game playing a dumb clown
I think men lie to do certain things which they don’t want their partners to interfere with it. It really pisses me off every time he lies. And sometimes, they are the ones telling hints which makes it worse.
I also had a share of what you experienced guys / gals ( err,, whatever ). I also cried at that point ( in my room and alone; no sniffing, no sobbing just swollen eyes ) but no matter how heavy I felt, I never allowed my parents and friends see how heavy it was for me. I sought for the most effective remedy I can give to my wounded heart and ego. I never asked for the ” Liar’s ” reason on why he cheated me, instead I assessed myself and tried to determine my flaws that could be the reason on why he was able to do so. This may sound like I’ll ended having self-pity but- no I didn’t. I just tried to understand him and improve the things I must improve. I never showed him any bitterness, and I treat him like it’s nothing. I hang out with my friends like nothing ever happened ( c’mon I’m not a hypo to say that I’m not hurt at all). I sought things that I longed to do but having a bf refrain me from doing so. That way, both he and his lover ended up sick inside. I never had to go down the level of begging and shouting just to avenge my poor heart. A week after, the liar comes back begging for my forgiveness but I just kept cool and dumped him gently. No matter how hard he tried to open and defend what he did, I just simply smiled and told him, there’s nothing to explain. The more I took control of my negative emotions the more I defeat him and the more people see me as a better individual and not worthy for a low – class liar like him..
wow! can’t imagine how huge ur courage is! pretending that nothings happen is so hard to do nevertheless its a good way to let him feel that its his lost not yours!laaaavh ittt! aja!
Two thumbs up gurl! It’s not an easy thing to do but I believe the strong personality you have:)
Way to go… I remember my exhusband he just suddenly went into uncommunicative stage he was abroad working at that time I call him but no answer so I text him I said whats wrong then suddenly here’s the bestfriend visiting out of the blue to inform me he (my ex) planning for divorce after barely 2 months of marriage. I was shock what was the reason i think his bestfriend was expecting me to go rambo and make chaos as he invited me to meet him at some very noisy coffee shop with many exit doors to relay that message from the ex. I have a very conservative and very sheltered upbringing full of love and care nothing prepared me for that kind of hurt and rejection. Maybe because of this upbringing make me act and took this news looks casual at outskirt although deep inside I was like frozen ice. So I cool off and didnt fight with him I even text him that night whatever his problem he can count on me and I am always there for him (what a kind and obedient wife lol). The reply to that is “silence” after two week with still no news from him again i text him and I told him whatever is the problem at least as his wife he should let me know whats going on I have the right to know why he is divorcing me as I have done no wrong. Then 15minutes later his high class divorce lawyer was calling me at 10:30PM asking me to go to his office I was shock for that call and I gave him a headache I grilled him (the lawyer) what was his clients reason and to sum it up all kinds of crap and lies (his lawyer was telling me). So after that I have not heard or seen him it was all his offensive lawyer calling me all the time to make it short after divorce went final I pack my bag change my number and went home. I never gave him a headache i never bother him after divorce i was close lip to my family it was just me and all my anguish i just pour it to God (believe me it was so comforting without bothering others about my woes) i love myself and i respect myself if he can do this to me unfairly I dont need him at my life so yeah painful to those people at this stage but “MOVE ON” is very correct advise and i did I just tried to erase him from my life. Its not easy.. all the time i feel that i am at my lowest one time at the office suddenly one of my female officemate was hugging me and suddenly i realize i was crying again ask those ladies who have undergone painful divorce how painful it is and sometimes i forced myself to eat while crying. Now looking back it just make me laugh. I just include this difficult time to those who might be in this kind of stage right now to remember every storm has sunshine and time heals all wounds is very true saying. Well the finale after a year what a surprise he was begging me to take him back as he made a mistake i wouldn’t even talk to him initially he was trying to reach me through my family so we talk I forgave him no use to hold grudge but I didn’t take him back. I am glad that I took that decision.
they cheat because they are insecure and so weak to know show there emotion.
wE Lie for a reason,man lie because they are selfish and also girls too… but lie means is general as a person, we our on trouble because we our not vulnerable enough to our own feeling try to be bitter not for a better, loving yourself is not bad but loving too much will be significant to others…
men and women then should be in separate planets
to be cheated by someone you love is really will caused a painful heartache..but while having that heartache, we have also to reflect on ourselves coz’ maybe we deserve such things.. maybe we have an attitude towards our partner that after a while they can’t tolerate anymore.. maybe a lot of times they want to get rid of us girls but they can’t do it because maybe we keep on blackmailing them emotionally..
the best thing we ever could is to let go.. accept the reality and move on..,
and if that man will come back, and he is still in your heart,, learn to forgive and forget the pain he had caused you..
men are polygamous in nature(true)no wonder why men cheat…men are used of uttering lies to avoid arguments..it only means that liar men are cowards!
I believe that it is better to tell the truth than a lie. it is better to be free than to be a slave. And I believe it is better to know than to be ignorant.
So if the man lies and we know what is it, its good coz we are not ignorant what’s going on….
Anyone that lies obeys the god of this earth, not the God who is in heaven. Because he has commanded “thou shalt NOT bear false witness. Sin is the transgression of the(his) law ! and the wages of sin is death.
liar look like a stupid clown very good in making excuses,,,im just wondering why there are man and woman as well likes to tell lies,,, it just mean that they preferred to look like a stupid clown….stupid clown because can u imagine a person talking lies in front of u they look stupid right? and funny like a clown,,,, talking nonsense..
My man told me some things that made me want to vomit, sick to my stomach, and mouth droped wide open. I didn’t want to hear that but I made myself sit there and listen because I had to.
Ex. raise a child until 17 want a d.n.a test find out the kid not his and leave the child alone. another story drive girls far away and tell them” no ass, no gas” (sound like rape to me). All thay was about 35years ago, so choked it up forgave him.
I’ve done many wrong things myself
it is true dat once a liar will always b a liar,, let him fly away, and on ur part– move on and try to leave bad memories behind…
nothing would be more to difficult to cope with when your husband – whom you chose to be with the rest of your life, who promised to love you and be loyal, who swore in the church, who’s wife (me) was pregnant – cheats! years have been passed but eveytime i remember him and the whore girl did that, i just can explain how i feel! it’s torture on my part, very painful! when we fought about that, i swore that his sister will experience the same thing that i experience from him, he was very mad! so i told him, if he dosn’t want that to happen, he better be good! upto now, i still believe that karma will bounce back to his sister!
for me,we all commit mistakes..we all lie…we all cheat,even in simple ways….having a partner that lied and cheated you,that was so painful!!!but if we only open our mind,open our heart,it is so easy to forgive….why i can say this,i’ve been through this before….it was so painful….there are always chances…chances to forgive and forget…it depends on how you accept the situations….on how you love much the person who lied and cheated on you…PRAYERS….ARE MY ARMORS…through God,i found answers…i understands everything..its not just my partner’s mistakes….i’ve been also a part,a big part of what he did…..sometimes,mistakes were done not just because of one person..there is always a participation of our partners…what i want to say here is,maybe the other one is selfish…dont want to accept explanations….and that triggers the man to lie…to keep secrets….and the worst,to cheat….but there is ALWAYS A SECOND CHANCE,A THIRD CHANCE,FORTH CHANCE AND SO ON for those who trully loves….there is always a space for changes….PRAYERS DO HELP A LOT IN THESE TIMES…..Pray and God will do the rest..have faith…..
one thing is for sure, what goes around comes around! the best way to cope with such situation is to always think positively. it hurts more when anger rules our heart! take things as they come and cry the pain out.^^
I have been with this guy for 4 years and 8 months. We are not even married but we have a child. He lives in other country and we could just see each other when he comes back to my country. His parents couldn’t accept us but we were trying to hold on. I quit working to take care of my baby and he was supporting us. What’s painful about our relationship was he was hiding us. His close friends knew about me but not about my daughter. His colleagues don’t know a thing about me and my daughter. There was a time that there was this woman’s instinct came to me. So I insisted him to tell me the truth and he ended up opening about him and the woman. The woman was totally a bitch. She has a boyfriend but dating my man. It was so painful til now. I couldn’t blame the woman also because everyone thinks he is single. I love him so much but I’m so confused now if I still have to continue this relationship with him. I was hoping to give my child a complete family. I hope someone can help me or give some advice.
Men sucks.. I don’t trust them.. haha.. play them up.. go and get some excitement.. it’s easy and fun! trust me
yeah that’s true.then we should not give up our body or virginity quickly with out thinking about what’s coming up to the end.think wisely…